e’ve all been there. Staring into a brightly lit screen, with a thumb hovering over the ‘uninstall’ button on the latest dating app we’ve been trying. We find ourselves frozen, debating over whether to delete it or not. We might even boldly delete it altogether with a flourish of what feels like self-empowerment! We go on to tell ourselves that we ‘aren’t the app’ type and that we ‘don’t need the stress’ at the moment.
…only to download it again a little while later. Familiar? If so, you certainly aren’t alone.
The contemporary dating scene is commonly described as a minefield by singles in their search for long-term love. With the swathes of unwanted ‘one-nighter’ or ‘benefits’ options presenting themselves, it can be tricky to root out the true connections beyond the thrill of a screen-based guessing game.
We started out with such hope, uploading laughing profile photos along with the glossy images we feel depict our loves and likes. But down the line, we grew jaded with the dead-end chats and first date flops. We came into all this wanting long term love, not a part-time job!
But are modern daters really needing to ditch the smartphone technology? Or do dating apps still hold keys to some very happy futures?
Despite the wonders of modern design, you cannot detect live chemistry from online messaging. You might pick up on some heavy flirting perhaps. Or you might begin to construct your own ideas of whether you’re a match based on your apparent shared love of kitten memes. But it can become frustrating trying to navigate our way forward.
It’s considerably easy to blame modern culture for the apparent desolation of romantic habits. We lament over the golden era of ‘old fashioned’ love. The kind of love and dating of classic Sunday movies, or that our grandparents might have experienced. We love these stories and hanker after the sentimentality of them.
But in fact, this was a generation of daters who didn’t live together until they were legally wed and who sent letters long distance before choosing to marry at all. A rather different construction to our own, certainly. And perhaps – just perhaps – they didn’t have any easier of a ride. Their romantic messaging just took a little longer to be delivered to their mailbox, than ours do online!
Joyously, our options now extend further than just ‘to app, or not to app’. It’s important to note that not every application is a replica of the last, in the same way, that not every dating event or social meeting place is the same.
Want to know more? Read on, to discover the three dating apps you hadn’t considered but that you certainly won’t want to miss out on.
First up, is an app that matches daters based on specific likes and dislikes. Hinge is pitched as ‘the app for people who hate dating apps’ – and it certainly does what it says on the tin. The company responsible for it claim that over 75% of activity results in live dates. This is an altogether promising start for those who find themselves tired of interface messaging that goes nowhere. It can’t promise marriage, but it can promise a strong start to your online and in-person conversations. No more dull ‘so…any siblings?’ non-starters to worry about then, thank-goodness.
Fed up of fake profiles and sleazy one-liners? Bumble is a sleek option for those who find themselves exhausted by the lack of quality control other apps tend to bombard you with. This intelligent female-built application constantly combs through its profiles, closing down fake or inappropriate accounts – thank goodness – and the company prides itself on the standard of its app usability. Blurry profile photo? Aggressive caption? Bumble won’t allow it. What a refreshingly innovative approach to what should always have been a straightforward connection process.
A third alternative may not be the one you might expect. But it’s fast becoming the modern dater’s best kept ‘suitor secret’. This app won’t be one you have thought of yet, but it could be your ticket to the quality date you’re after. The app I’m describing here? Meetup. Yes, you read that correctly.
Here arrives a dating tool mindfully designed to connect people beyond profile photos and selective swiping. A product created specifically to build real-life connections in your local area. On an app, based entirely on individual interests that go beyond whether you’re into tattoos or not, Meetup is rapidly becoming a favored way for daters to meet new people without the expectation pressures that come with other “dating specific” technology.
After all, what better way to meet the long term partner you’re seeking, than in a situation where you’re sharing an activity you know you both enjoy? Thanks to the design brilliance of Meetup, you now have a fantastic opportunity for a conversation starter from the get-go. Plus, you aren’t limited to talking to one person at whatever event you choose to attend. Bored with the person you’re chatting to? You are free to engage a new chat elsewhere in the room, as often as you feel confident.
Perhaps the next time you think of deleting that app in frustration, instead, open one up that will help you cross paths with someone who shares a love of what you love instead. It certainly makes for a better story than the one you were expecting to tell your nearest and dearest about how you met…
And who knows – you might even pick up a new skill or hobby along the way!