espite what movie scenes – and social media – will try to tell you, not every day of a relationship is destined to be picture perfect. Sometimes, our partner might get on our nerves. Perhaps they’ll do things we don’t understand, or say something that we can’t make sense of. And then there’s the vanilla days – the days where there doesn’t seem to be any particular rhyme or reason to it, but it just doesn’t feel as good as it once did.
If any of these resonates with you, then I highly encourage you to keep reading.
Typically, we tend to think of rehabilitating our partnerships only when they have come to a grinding halt or radical crisis point. We give issues that have arisen our full attention only when an argument breaks out, or when we arrive at a point of total disagreement on a matter that is happening at that moment.
As we all know, dealing with the well-being of our relationships when in crisis may not necessarily bring out the best side of us; or indeed the calmest perspectives. None of us operate very well when we are under attack or perceived stress. Do you tend to think straight when you find yourself at loggerheads with your partner? Do you find you can offer the best of who you are in moments of dispute? I don’t think so.
Fundamentally, the key to a healthy, happy relationship is to stay mindful of the little things in order to lessen the likelihood of a greater crisis. Sounds simple enough – but how do we go about doing so, in a modern culture of professional, technological and social distraction? When deadlines, outstanding bills and upcoming festive obligations are all vying for our attention, how can we make sure we are devoting the right amount of time and effort to our relationship?
Thankfully, it can be simpler than you might expect. Here are 3 techniques you can put into practice immediately, that will turn around ‘vanilla love’ to one of health, happy vibrancy. You might want to take notes!
1). Remind them why you fell for them.
With the festive season approaching, there’s no better time to do something thoughtful for your partner. Beyond expensive gift purchasing, try doing something for your other half that will remind them why you love them. You could book a special meal at the restaurant of your first date, create a photo-book of your early experiences, or get hold of tickets for the comedy night you always went to before things got busy.
On a tight budget? Get creative, with an inexpensively made ‘treasure hunt’ at home. Use clues about you both to lead the way! No matter how you go about it, a considerate nod towards the love you shared at the beginning can be a great way to reconnect while injecting some vital fun into the landscape of your relationship.
2). Find ways to join your activities.
Research repeatedly shows that the more couples are uninvolved with each other’s lives, the more likely they are separate longer term. Don’t panic – there’s no need to join her girl’s night out next week, or join him for his upcoming gaming night! However, making a relatively small amount of effort to appreciate and even celebrate a partner’s interests can go further than you think to bring you closer together.
Perhaps the next time your partner heads out with a bag of clubs, give them a lift so they can tell you about it on the way there. Or the next time she heads out to the garden, offer to help with some re-potting. An hour or two spent in each other’s worlds could teach you something new about the person you love – plus you might even learn a thing or two about a new hobby.
3). Create time slots together.
In a hectic modern culture, it can be all too easy to find your weekly schedule slipping past you without finding any quality time to spend with your partner. If you live together, this can happen even more easily. You saw them at breakfast and dinnertime every day this past week – isn’t that enough? Actually, no, it’s really not. Instead of catching up on each other’s day whilst distractedly watching evening telly, why not book a babysitter and go out together.
Yes, even on a weeknight. Getting some coffee together or going for a walk could be a fantastic opportunity to connect, away from the hum-drum of daily life at home. Or take things up a notch, and spend an evening in a hotel together. You don’t have to travel far – many local hotels do last-minute app deals. The change of environment and the energy of being somewhere new (without your home distractions) could be a complete game-changer. If it works well, why not make it a monthly tradition you can both look forward to.
Relationship Advice: 3 Simple techniques to bring back the vibrancy of your relationship.
No one ever said that the journey of a relationship was without its challenges. Unfortunately, relationships don’t tend to take care of themselves all that well when left unattended.
By putting into practice these 3 simple techniques, you are well on your way to progressing your partnership towards the love you and your partner both deserve. You can read more in this post.
No matter how long you’ve been together, or how ‘serious’ it has become, never lose the joy in your partnership. You both deserve to be happy and to enjoy each other’s company.
Enjoy the journey together!