ave you ever been on the other side of a table from a first date and wondered to yourself why on Earth they just asked you about a family they’re never destined to meet? Or why they have just regaled a horror story to you about their last relationship when it really didn’t do them any favors? You aren’t alone.
Or perhaps you’re the one who has just found themselves sharing a story that you intended to be funny, but from the look of discomfort and an awkward sip of the glass you’re observing from the other person, you’re quickly realizing it really wasn’t a safe play?
Dating in itself can be a confusing time. Wondering what your date will like, what they will or won’t like about you, and even whether you like them is enough to keep any active dating mind racing. Add that into trying to find topics that will impress and not suppress, and you’ve got the makings of quite a stressful evening ahead.
Thankfully, it doesn’t have to be this way. The article you’re currently reading is here to share with you exactly how and why. Read on for a full list of the topics to avoid in order to steer your next date to dating success! Here are 5 topics to avoid on a first date – including the one you thought was a winner!
1). Your worst dates.
It’s extremely common to complain about disaster dates or relationships on a first date. Aside from the yawn-inducing predictability factor, this runs the risk of making you come across as a complainer. Which is not an attractive quality! It’s a far better idea to keep close by to the positives.
Paint a picture of the type of person you are by giving a positive past example of a date, ensuring you appropriately show off your ingenuity and thoughtfulness. There’s nothing more intriguing than someone whose comfortable enough with themselves to be able to compliment a past date, while neatly letting you know why they are more suited to someone like…you.
2). Why you’re still single!
Save your answer to this for Great Aunt Brenda at the annual Christmas meal. The cause of your relationship status certainly is not a topic to offer up on a date, nor one to engage with if it’s come up in conversation. The truth is, every date thinks they want the answer to this – but they don’t. In the same way, everyone thinks they want to know how many people their other half has slept with in the past – as soon as the answer is stated, you realize you never really wanted the knowledge.
Steer the conversation away from danger with a simple, ‘why don’t you tell me more about you – are you enjoying being on the dating scene?’. People love to talk about themselves. Give them the chance to, and you’ll find you’ll easily swerve away from any discussion potholes.
3). How hard your day was today.
Picture the scene; you’ve just walked into a gorgeous bar feeling a million dollars in a new outfit you’ve worn especially for your date. You have the familiar flutter of nerves as you take a seat while you await your potential suitor. And here he comes! He’s visibly stressed, flustered, and immediately launching into a moaning story about bus schedule changes and the ‘day he’s had’. Sound like a man you’re dying to get to know? Or are you sinking a little now in your fancy bar seat?
One of the loveliest things about a relationship is being able to share the ups and downs of life. But the early dating days aren’t the time to do that. Even if you have had a nightmare of a day, take a few minutes to take a breath and gather your thoughts before you meet up. It’s far better to be a few moments late than to arrive full of work disasters and national rail complaints.
4). Any topic that runs yourself down.
The key to successful dating is to share the best parts of who you are, in an effort to find positive common ground with the other person. In order to do this, steer clear of any negative self-talk. Instead, share the aspects of your life that make you feel the happiest and the most confident. This is your moment to do that!
As you get to know someone, you can start to develop trust in order to be able to share more of yourself, including the parts you may not be happy with yet. For now, arm yourself with the anecdotes that represent the very best elements of the brilliant person you are.
5). Politics, politics, politics.
The world is a fascinating place. But political debates? Save them for a little later down the dating timeline, or you could find yourself in hot water. Dating is a fantastic process of trial and error, as you work out who you do or don’t want to spend your valuable time with in the future. Early dates are a great first insight into who someone is, and if you could be a match.
Stick to topics that encourage positive conversations, rather than ones that lead to negativity as a rule, and you should be able to prevent any dissenting conversation pathways. Plus, are we the only ones fed up with current world politics? Don’t get us started, now…
In the fullness of time, we all hope to arrive at a point where there are no topics that are off the table with the person we’re spending our time with. But to get to those lovely chapters, sometimes a bit of smart thinking is required to help us along that path. They could make all the difference. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading the 5 topics to avoid on a first date. You can read more here. Let me know what you think in the comments.